Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
