Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
