Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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