Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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