I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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