i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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