That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
