i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
