Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
