You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I will be naked everywhere
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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