Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
