You're so nebulous sometimes
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize