a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
