I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
