mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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