first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
