Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
