Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Let's get the cat blown out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
