It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
pray to the hookup gods
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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