Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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