they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
