those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize