marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
