never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
