I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The struggles of a small town man whore
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
