I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
