I heard we made out
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize