i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize