That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
