I hate your face
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
