I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
