But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
