I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
