Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No...this little piggys going to the bar
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
