instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the night ended with taco bell and tears
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
