I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
