i think my tv is drunk
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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