Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize