who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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