Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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