she woke up with a sticky ear
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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