To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
