Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
