I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
