i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
