About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
