Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
