So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
