the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
