either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
