Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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