adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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