Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
