The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
