gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize