the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
