Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
