I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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