Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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