you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
