margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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