my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
